LOSS OF HUMAN CONNECTION IS THE BIGGEST THREAT TO KIDS, NOT AI

We have become obsessed with the idea that screens are destroying human connection.

The evidence seems to be everywhere. Each week headlines warn of teenagers addicted to phones, a loneliness epidemic and the dangers of AI. The release of The Social Reckoning leads us to ask, “How bad were those guys at Meta?” and then ultimately wonder, “How bad am I if I still use Instagram?” In our day-to-day, we observe workers eating lunch alone while scrolling and friends choosing online games over offline gatherings.

But what if we are focusing on the wrong problem?

The greatest threat to connection may not be technology itself. It may be our growing unwillingness to curiously, thoughtfully and openly communicate about the role technology plays in our lives.

As a pediatrician, this issue often manifests in my clinic. Parents arrive with worries about their teens’ screen time. The parent will demand that their child “fess up” and reveal how many hours they waste on their phone every day. The atmosphere is immediately charged. The teen becomes defensive. The parent is frustrated.

I often suggest that we start somewhere else.

I ask: “Can you share a little about what you do when you are using technology? What do you enjoy? Are there things about your technology use you are worried about and willing to discuss?”

The answers are not usually what people expect. One teen tells me about the friendships she maintained on social media after moving to a new town. Another shows me videos he created to promote his school’s upcoming play. One shares how digital design tools are changing the fashion industry, so she is trying to learn about them now. Another quietly admits that gaming has become so consuming that it feels stressful.

As the conversation unfolds, something changes. The tension in the room eases. Parents relax. The teen patient might even smile a few times. We talk about strategies, relationships, stress and health.

What began as an argument about a device becomes a bigger conversation about health, relationships and life itself.

It often feels that our conversations about technology have become trapped in a false choice between two extreme camps. One camp is made up of the pro-tech enthusiasts, thought to embrace every new device or platform. The other camp is composed of preachers of digital abstinence.

- Author: Megan Moreno, The Guardian

Megan, MD, MSEd, MPH, is a co-author of Connecting: Raising Kids in the Digital World, published by the American Academy of Pediatrics on 13 October.

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