'He Hid the A La Carte Menu': Who Should Pay on the First Date

Few topics divide opinion quite like who should pay on a first date. Ask a group of friends and you'll likely get a dozen different answers.

Some insist the bill should always be split equally, others believe the person who sets up the date should pay and despite changing attitudes towards gender roles, many still see a man picking up the bill as a romantic gesture rather than an outdated tradition.

With cocktails regularly topping £15, restaurant bills climbing and many keeping a close eye on their budgets, even a casual evening out can quickly become expensive.

Adults across the UK spend more than £111 per month on dates and dating apps, equating to more than £1,300 per year, according to research from Barclays in 2025,

For under 30s in particular, cost is a great barrier as over half of Gen Z adults feel the expense impacts their ability to go on dates.

Jennifer Read-Dominguez, a digital editor who is currently single, believes whoever asks for a first date should be prepared to pay for it.

She says women "can absolutely foot the bill themselves but that's not the point".

"Sometimes it's nice to take a step back from always being the one making decisions and simply enjoy feeling feminine and being looked after."

For her, a man paying on a first date is not about dependence or inequality but "effort and keeping some traditional gestures alive in modern dating".

- Author: Yasmin Rufo, BBC

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