''' *HOW BEST : TO COMPLAIN* '''
WHEN Jan Schwoyer learned that her 15-year old son had been given an in-school suspension she was terribly upset.
After she got him to tell his side of the story, she was livid:
''The kid sitting behind me hit the girl in front of me,'' her son explained, ''and the girl turned and yelled at me.''
When Schwoyer asked her son why he hadn't told this to the assistant principal who handed out the suspension, she came up with the adolescent ethics:
''I won't rat,'' said the student.
Determined to right the wrong, Schwoyer phoned the assistant principal, calmly told him what her son had said, and asked if he had any proof that her boy had hit the girl.
The assistant principal immediately began screaming as if Schwoyer were a kid who'd cut class.
Shocked, Schwoyer simply asked, ''Why are you so angry at me?'' That stopped the tirade cold. The assistant principal calmed down, and they resolved the problem.
Jan Schwoyer discovered that in a difficult situation, it's possible to get results without becoming pushy, or loud. Indeed, effective complaining is a skill anyone can master. All you need is determination and an understanding of these simple rules:
BE PREPARED
You have a better chance of winning if you're an expert on your situation. That doesn't you should cite Supreme Court decisions, but you do need to be prepared with names, dates, prices or times that relate to your complaint.
When an airline failed to award Lillian Sims all the frequent-flier miles she'd earned on an extended foreign trip because of an obscure provision, she tracked down the supervisor of the frequent-flier program.
''She asked me to send her the information,'' Sims recalls. ''I had everything she needed, and after reviewing it, she awarded me the the right number of miles.''
FACE THE ISSUE
Letters can be ignored, and your opponent can be unreasonable over the telephone. Your personal presence, however, can make all the difference.
Deirdre Marin was having trouble getting her insurance company to pay for a doctor's visit that the insurer maintained was for a pre-existing condition.
After wending her way through the company's bureaucracy, she realized a mistake had been made about the date of the visit. To collect her claim, she just needed a doctor's note.
''But when I called his office, they said they were too busy, and told me to have the insurance company call them,'' she explains. ''I knew the insurer's representative would never call, so I decided to drive to the doctor's office and ask in person.''
Marin introduced herself to the receptionist who had originally fielded her call; then she politely repeated her request. ''It was as if I were seven-foot one instead of five-foot-one. The receptionist actually type the letter while I waited.
STAY COOL.
Being nasty will mark you as a crank, not a reasonable person who's been wronged.
A demonstration of anger only triggers the fight-or-flight response in other people, and neither response will help you. As Jan Schwoyer learned when talking with the principal, ''It's the person who gets emotional first loses.''
The best gambit is to say you have a problem and need help to solve it. This gentle approach is likely to disarm your opponent, when someone humbly asks for people, most people do what they can.
In dealing with an auto mechanic or a plumber, for example, try a friendly, respectful approach when a repair doesn't work.
''Don't excuse him of not doing the job right,'' advises John E. Novak, a general contractor. ''Instead, say that you still have the problem and need his help again.''
If you think you have been overcharged, says Lawyer Rick Felberbaum, ask for a detailed breakdown of the bill. ''Start by saying you're perplexed, since the bill doesn't what you were told the job should cost.
By asking for clarification, you give the person an opportunity to save face if there's been an overcharge.''
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SAM Daily Times - the Voice of the Voiceless
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