7/12/2014

Why I regret starting university in a relationship

I regret being in love during my first year of university. My two year relationship ended soon after my first term, but Cupid's arrow had already left its mark on my university experience.

Despite moments of happiness, being in a romantic relationship during my first term had far-reaching consequences that affected both my social and academic life. I started to dedicate less time to my studies and more time to my girlfriend, while my goal of forming a tight-knit university friendship group dropped down my list of priorities.

Some people might say that I'm wrong to blame this on being in a relationship.

Camilla Siig, a second-year neuroscience student at Kings College London who is in a long-term relationship, says: "I don't think a relationship has to be a reason for grades falling. It depends on the type of person you are, the person you're dating, your age, the way you think, and what you prioritise.

"It hasn't affected my grades: there are many variables that cause your grades to go up or down. You can't blame love."

Yet for me, everything became of secondary importance to my love affair and my grades suffered as a result. Essays would be completed half-heartedly and lectures would be spent fantasising about a future involving me, my lover, two kids and a Persian cat named Geoffrey.

Conversations with potential friends were kept short as I had to make time for romantic dates at Byron Hamburgers.

Then, my first term ended – and so did my relationship.

Determined not to let second term blues affect my grades, I made an effort to overcome the pain of heartbreak during the Christmas half-term, and even gave myself a three week deadline to do so. In hindsight, this was a little optimistic.

It was difficult to focus on my coursework during the beginning of my second term. While writing essays I would catch myself day-dreaming about how beautifully aligned my ex's freckles were.

But in time things got easier and my urge to send texts saying "I miss you" dwindled.

I received my coursework grades, which saw a marked improvement over my first-term results. There was a simple reason for this: the time that was previously spent with my ex-girlfriend was now spent on my essays.

Forming a friendship group is now back on my to-do list, and I am keeping my fingers crossed that Cupid keeps his arrows at bay until I graduate.

(Source: TheGuardian)

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